After a brief spell of introspection this morning, I experienced a ‘Eurkea’ moment. I was considering the reason that I am so often late; a problem that has been with me all my life, one I fail to mention during an interview but wrestle with on a daily basis. My record for being late is two weeks, my average is one hour.
So this morning, as I had woken up early, I decided to consider why I am late. Lets study my behaviour in the morning.
Today I needed to be in work for 10am. After my ten (yes 10!) alarms have gone off at 5 minute intervals, plus the snooze button, I am awake. I slept with my contact lenses in so I could immediately use my phone to check facebook, gmail, twitter and hotmail. I lost at least half an hour fannying about on social media. Then I spent another 45 minutes marauding (laying in bed thinking). Sent a tweet. Checked facebook again. Looked at the time and leapt out of bed when I realised it was now 9.15am.
I rushed into the spare room to get dressed as I now realised I needed to hurry, whereupon I saw my naked self streak past the full length mirror in the wardrobe. “Wowser”, I thought, “I look great” (the mirror is very old, it has an antique finish which is extremely flattering), so I spent another twenty minutes prancing about in front of the mirror. I did manage to get a pair of pants and ski socks on, which only encouraged me to pose more.
I then spent anopther 5 minutes worrying that someone might be spying on me. Logically, I know this is impossible, but it did stop me in my tracks and made me get dressed.
Then I charged down the stairs, hustled the dog into the garden, chucked food at my parrot and jogged down to muck out the horse. I was distracted by the geese which had escaped and whom everyone except me is frightened to death of, so I herded them back to where they should be and fell into a day dream about having some geese of my own to live in my garden. I spent some time chatting to my horse, gossiping to people on the yard and speaking to the chicken. Still dreaming, I wandered slowly back to my house, and in no way whatsoever did I hurry to organise the dog and parrot for the day and set off to work in my car.
I was late, obviously.
And I have concluded that, I need to take my contact lenses out before I sleep at night!