Monthly Archives: May 2012


I deserve a medal today, perhaps even a trophy, because I have taken a major step towards getting rid of some of my ‘hoard’.

Today I have organised for waste collections to come and take away three of my sofas, that is 50% of the sofas currently in my house. I do not live in a large house, I am not a wealthy person (in fact, I have never bought a sofa) but I have an innate fear that ‘people’ will visit and have nowhere to sit. That’s the reason I use and give for my almost, but not quite, out of control habit of collecting sofas. Over a period of two years I have collected no less than nine sofas. The dog has two sofas. I hadn’t even realised I had an issue until a friend came to stay and asked, quite bluntly I thought, “what the fuck is going on with the sofas?”

Along with the sofas, I also have four cookers/ ovens (only one of which works, partially) and two fridges (one of which is in good working order). And mountains of other stuff. It’s everywhere.

Four bookshelves are stuffed to the brim with books, plus they tend to slouch around all over the house; in the bathroom, next to my bed, on the arms of sofas, on the stairs, I need another bookshelf. Every now and again, under duress, I am forced to choose which books to take to the charity shop. My cries of “but they’re my friends!” go unheeded (I do indeed see all my books as ‘friends’ and most of them have a little history or a tale I can tell about them, I very, very rarely lend them out, I love them too much). So I carefully and tearfully select one a few books to go to the charity shop, put them in a box, then hide the box! I have several of such boxes stored about the house.

I never throw anything away. From scraps of paper to receipts, train and gig tickets, glo-sticks, odd socks, keys, etc, etc, the list is endless of the crap I keep. I never delete emails, hence I have so many email accounts. I cannot bear to be parted from anything. What if one day I lose my memory? What if the person or people the emails are linked to, dies? It’s all I will have left.

Luckily, I have many wonderful friends and I am never left to my own devices so my hoarding is not on a scale that would make for gripping television. But I’m probably on the tip of the iceberg. When a recent guest told me that they had “braved the bathroom” I thought it was maybe time to clean up my act, so hurrah for me, I have ordered three sofas to be removed (although none were in the bathroom).

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